4th july

oh hi!

terlupa nk cerita psl 4th July tahun ni. asyik simpan draft je huhu. to be honest, this year 4th of July sucked! i wanted to write a post about that at that time but i figured out that i will let myself drawn emotionally. oh actually i did write a post before about that lol..

im sure he'll not read this. or maybe they'll not. i was looking forward to see fireworks and taking pictures and stuff. you know, this year will be our last. so i was asking some of my girl friends (my batch) to go out that day. its useless to ask some of them actually. some of them were busy because of exam the day after, some of them was lazy to go out and some of them dont actually care of that day haha. so only me and my roommate go.

Aku ngn rumet aku naik kete asing2 (which is a bad idea). sampai sne parking tempat lain2...lps tu kena tggl mcm tu je bile da smpi. wt freaking fish did they left me alone??!!! when im the only girl there? mcm mne klu aku sesat? mcm mne klu x jmpe jalan? mcm mne klu kene culik? heh ko tu lelaki oke?! xleh nk pikir ke? i was getting distracted and distraught by that, with feeling of angst around me. my hands were shivering and im scared of being alone. dlm hati aku mencarut2 je lelaki2 ni. x guna btol, i kept looking around for them and was very disappointed because there were no sign of them at all, x kira lah waving ke, panggil ke. at the same time, i tried to enjoy the fireworks by myself though.

wtf member, tggl mcm tu je. x pena consider that i am a girl. i was looking forward to have a picture with fireworks behind me. habes je fireworks aku reda je..i was thinking the bright side. maybe they were going far from me but still saw me from afar.

the weird thing is, i still managed to be okay when i meet them after that. i wanted them to know that i was angry, but all that was shown in my face is nothing. like nothing happened. i wanted to frown but instead i smiled (bukan senyum lebar).

i dont know why, this situation kinda reminded me of the past, which is kinda blurry but still hurts. i forgot things easily but my heart doesnt.

so i hate hate hate them right now, especially that guy. im thinking he hasnt matured yet but come on lah! da 20++ kot..

worst night ever! i'm seriously having trouble trusting people now. especially guys

so it is okay to left me alone with strangers if i'm not your girlfriend or your relatives, is it?

bleghhhhh watever grr