Scared


scared.what about it?

today maen volley kt rec

da lme x men..so cm lpe r rules dye

n then aku ni bukannye wakil ke ape ke..

jus pena maen n i got dreams of playing it more than just for fun

so i play with all the seniors


when i play i made many mistakes

n this makes me feel bad..bcoz im ruining the game

all of the seniors are damn good..

i felt very small indeed

this was not the first time i felt this way~

so i made mistakes all over again..

all messed up

n today..ashwaq n abal said that u have to believe

and so i try to believe n relax

and so it works

without noticing i can do it!yeay!

at that time, i realize after all these years of playing

i am afraid

the same goes with frisbee i played when i wait for my turn to play volley

i just cant sit down n do nothing..it bores me to death

n so i play alone n focusing to a target..

and it works too!

and so i thought, maybe i was scared when i play frisbee,

mind u that i played very horribly(duhh~all over the places)

~scared that i couldnt do it....


actually i realized it early than this but i just ignore it

yeah..ignorance is bliss

but ignorance may mislead u

i realized it when someone,A reviewing one of my paper. i was crying at that time

he said "maybe u were scared, you know the concept but i think u were scared"

when A said that,

i tell myself.."is it?"

~maybe i want to be perfect..i dont know for sure~

~maybe im trying hard that when i make mistakes,i blame on myself for not doing it well~


yeah yeah..well i know for sure that being perfect is not good

but until today

i realized it


*thats why i put high hopes in everything*

n it makes me unhappy =(


sorry for making u read this bla bla bla..hukhuk

i just wanna lay somewhere

probably ull never thought that i have prob like this..

wow..this is the first time i didnt sleep at night..huhu